Fucked by Love

The reason for the title of this post is because it's so true.

Look at me.

LOOK AT ME.

I live 4000 miles away from my family, I'm a university drop-out, I am up to my neck in debt, and I have few enough friends that I can count them on one hand minus my thumb. Compare that to a 17-year-old me, who lived with her family, had already completed a year's worth of uni credit while in highschool, her only debts were of the emotional sort, and she knew at least 10 people that counted as genuine, close, fairly reliable friends.

What the fuck happened? Oh, right. Like the title says. That girl got fucked by love (and not in the nice way) and turned into the bitter, angry wreck you see before you now.

I wouldn't mind it so much, but LOVE turned out to be less than I expected. Bit of a short stick, really. As the song says, 'Always weigh what I've got against what I left/So progress report, I'm missing you to death...'

My life now is in no way a match for, much less an improvement on, the life I had when I was 17. This is NOT a fair trade. I wish I'd realised then, what I was getting myself into.

There is nothing currently in my life, that makes up for all I've lost.