So. Last Friday, I was meant to be going out and getting shit-faced. I was in my mindset, outfit assembled, food-free all afternoon, ready to get pissed, looking forward to downing all the booze I could fathomably keep in my stomach...
And then, once I was out of the house, I just... lost the will. I had a few drinks, yes, and I was relatively tipsy at one point in the evening, but then I just...??? I dunno. I just couldn't be arsed, if you know what I mean. All that business of strutting about in my tall shoes, keeping my skirt from riding up, sucking my tummy in, making sure my make-up didn't smear, flirting with people without actually picking anyone up, and not saying anything stupid enough to piss off the friend I was actually there with.... I just couldn't do it. I just *sigh*
I think I've mentioned once or twice, I'm just basically losing the will to live, lately. I've got no idea what's wrong with me, well no, I know exactly what's wrong with me, but there's nothing I can do about it in the short term, so why am I letting it get me down...
I just don't give a fuck.
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel/I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby/I'm not okay, you wear me out/I'm sleeping my way out of this one with anyone who'll lie down...
...there, I've made a new song, not mine and not rhyming at all, and just as fucked and mish-mashed and broken as my life, and every line is relevant. If there's anyone out there who's slept with me and reading this, you might want to keep an eye on that last line.
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