Weekends

Weekends are quite good, really. Even if you don't have a proper job (haha, raising babies is loads of work, AND it pays rather well in this country, but you all know what I mean) it's nice to have a break in your routine, to do a little something out of the ordinary, to give yourself an excuse to laze around being inefficient for a couple of days a week. And of course, weekends are good times to be very efficient at certain things--catching up on dirty laundry, grouting tiles, buying groceries, etc. Also, weekends are excellent times for frivolous pursuits.

I saw a castle this weekend. It was good. There were loads of privies, much uneven ground, lots of great grey stones, and a dungeon room. I did the following, in this order: tried to get my friend to steal a 400-year-old sword, attempted to make him climb a security barrier and touch an alarmed display, closed an iron gate on him and tried to lock him in the lavatory in The King's Chamber, attempted to prise the lid off the well and push him down it, and then, I refused to smile for his pictures on the roof, and demanded a piggy-back ride when I got tired of walking.

It was, all in all, a very enjoyable day.

Even though, in the half-hour of shopping time available afterwards, my friend bought the ugliest pair of Speedos known to man, and is now insisting on teaching me to swim... I can swim. Doggy-paddling is swimming. What's a dog? A mammal. What's a human? A mammal. We can swim the same way if we want to. And, also in the same way as a dog, I won't be wearing the world's ugliest swimming costume when I dive into the water.

Even being a witness to the purchase of the ugliest pair of swimming trunks ever created, could not mar my general sense of delight yesterday.

I can't remember the last time I had that much fun. That may sound sad to you, or even downright depressing, but it's true. Goofing off and being a bit of a TAF (twat-among-friends) on a Sunday afternoon is *well* out of the range of my normal experience. It was just so nice to have nothing to do. To be free to do any old nonsense I liked. To waste some time, on a sunny afternoon, because for the first time in about 5 years, I had time to waste, and someone to waste it with.

Of course, it could just be the fact that castles *totally* do it for me. All that firm smooth ironwork, loose rope lying about, cold hard uneven flooring and the sound of metal constantly clanking... It's all very, very 'tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699...' I mean, really. Can you imagine it:

Sex. In an *actual* dungeon. Mmmm...

**Not that I *had* sex in an actual dungeon!.. I'm just saying. 2 hours wandering around a dungeon, whilst thinking about it, is liable to put anyone in a good mood...**