Nervous - Part 1

Just what the sign says. I'm nervous. Specifically, I'm nervous about something that's happening tomorrow. If you know me, you may know what it is, and if not, you don't know me well enough for me to tell you. It's not my personal business, as such; therefore I can't run about telling my friends all the gory details.

Suffice it to say, I'm *appalled* that the best I can come up with is 'nervous'. What a slap in the face that is... and I *know* it's a slap, and believe me, if tomorrow results in an avalanche of shit smacking the fanblades and flying about coating every surface within flinging distance, I will be so, so far beyond nervous. I will feel *completely* *TERRIBLE*. I cannot overstate it. I will feel like the worst person who ever walked the face of the earth--I will want to harm myself, I will be in a state of near-total, horrified, guilty despair.

That being said, all I can do is wait and see what happens. How the cards fall. Which way the wind blows. Etc, etc.

But oh, have I done it this time. Have I finally managed to do something I'll have trouble living with? Have I finally, after years of playing it safe, intersected periodically by mad bursts of impulsive self-destruction, finally managed to do something I'm going to regret for the rest of my life?

I hope everything's okay. For me, but not just for me. I just hope everything goes okay.